So this is a post I’ve been… hesitant to make for a while because I know some people in my life won’t like it, but I need to face the fact that I’m a 22-year-old woman and this is my space to do what I please with. If you don’t like it, don’t read.
In honor of pride month, I’m going to tell you all my coming out story.
Now I don’t make it a secret on my blog that I am gay, but I’ve never made a post on it specifically before. My journey was a unique one when I was a kid I was really boy crazy and had an elementary school boyfriend, actually. (We were so cute.) But this caused a lot of issues when I came out because I had never “acted gay.” I had always been the girly girl, ballerina, princess type of child (and even now an adult). So everyone thought there weren’t any “signs.”
Around 16 years old, I was actually watching Glee and Sue said something to Kurt along the lines of, “How do you know if you’ve never done anything.” I thought about this for awhile. Like really deep down thought about it, and I realized that as much as my best friend had teased me saying I would turn out liking girls (she always points out she was right), I had never actually considered the possibility. I just was attracted to who I was supposed to be attracted to and what was dictated to me on the media.
It bothered me for way more than it should have and eventually I came out as bisexual (though I was probably more bi-curious at the time). I kissed a few boys in that time and also met my girlfriend, Josie (who is actually bi, I was never bi I just thought I was), and in the Spring of 2012 I came out as gay.
That’s literally it. No fanfare, no drama… just a lot of questioning. I would continue to question if I was bi for another 3 years, but college made me realize I was most defiantly 100% gay (maybe 95% because it’s a spectrum and also dang Brendon Urie is attractive).
I’m not going to sit here on my soapbox and pretend it’s easy. There’s a lot of stigma against lesbians dating bi girls, there’s a lot of stigma against two feminine girls being together, there’s a lot of stigma towards me because I did kiss some boys in early high school so I’m not a “gold star” lesbian (which is a ridiculous concept and should be banned. I’m fabulous!)
I get a lot of the “you’re too pretty to be lesbian” comments and I’ve gotten harassed by boys (another story for another day and I refuse to call them men because they were acting like children) who seemed to think they could turn me straight. I am who I am. I am a makeup-loving, heels wearing, skirt flouncing lesbian and I am so proud of that! And the only part of me that makes me a lesbian is that I like girls! That’s the definition of a lesbian. I don’t need to “pass” societies gaydar to be considered a lesbian and whether I’m walking down the street in a high fashion sundress with heels or I’m in my comfy flannels with my hair in a messy bun and guess what? It has no effect on who I love.
On this Pride Month, I just want to remind you all that love is not a choice and no matter who you love it doesn’t define you or dictate any other aspect of your life. I’m very proud of who I am and who I’m becoming as an activist, a voice, and a strong woman. I love Josie more than anything in the world and I have for 6 years. I’m more than excited to move in with her and our adorable cat, Rey, in July. I couldn’t imagine loving anyone else.
Be you. Be happy. Be free.
P.S.- Negative comments will be deleted.
I’m working to bring more great content to this blog and my social media so don’t forget to subscribe for all the updates about what I’m up to, and to support this blog getting off the ground check out my Patreon.
And check out Josie’s blog here.
And check out these awesome campaigns who are fighting for LGBT communities: